Widowers show that love knows no age or boundaries
By Tom Blake
Five years ago I published a book titled, How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.
The purpose of writing it was to show how 100 singles age 50-plus found love after hitting their half-century mark. The hope was to give optimism to older singles that finding love later in life is possible and to prompt them to never give up looking.
Couples featured in the book were from all over the United States. Some of them I had met before, but most I had not. One of the featured couples, Marcia and Russ, live in Sacramento. Last week, they stopped by Tutor and Spunky’s, my Dana Point deli, to introduce themselves. Both were widowed after 34 years of marriage.
Marcia, now 65, said, “I am a facilitator for a grief recovery group for widowed persons called Widowed Persons Association of California (WPAC). There are chapters all over California. We are not a dating service but a grief recovery group that has many activities for widowed people.
“I met Russ, now 72, while facilitating a workshop. We live together but have chosen not to remarry. Instead, we had a commitment ceremony. We have two signed legal documents: one a co-habitation agreement and the other a medical-care agreement.”
When I asked how she introduces Russ, Marcia said, “I tell people that Russ is ‘the husband of my heart.’”
Russ said, “We have been together for six glorious years. We get along great and have traveled extensively, including trips to South America, China, New Zealand and Australia.”
Marcia said, “When we are not traveling, we are involved in our community. We love to bowl, play pool and attend Renaissance Society classes sponsored by Sacramento State University. We are on campus with the younger students, who seem to enjoy having a bunch of gray-haired freshmen mingling with them.”
Russ smiled and added, “We just went to a Woodstock revival party, which brought out many seniors from that generation. We just keep having fun, that’s what matters to us.”
Marcia said, “Widowed people that had happy marriages are wonderful companions, but they did not choose to be single. Even though Russ and I suffered through long and devastating illness of our spouses, we still had and have the history. The children, grandchildren and who we are, is permanent. Our ex-in-laws are very happy for us. I love his wife because she trained him well and he has no bitterness.”
Russ chimed in, “I love her husband because Marcia carries no baggage. We are creating our own history now, but at our ages we see that it is different than it was with our mates who fell in love with us in our 20s and shaped who we are.”
Marcia summarized their life together, “We are having a ball and just enjoying each other.”
Marcia and Russ are embracing life in a beautiful way. Their relationship is an inspiration to older singles. They met because they were willing to get out and mingle with people who had had experiences similar to their own.
How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 can be ordered as a hard cover book or e-book online at Amazon.com. For an autographed copy, stop by Tutor and Spunky’s Deli; Tom will personalize a book for you.
The next singles age 50-plus meet and greet gathering is Thursday, Aug. 28, at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli in Dana Point from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. There is no cost to attend. Carl the DJ will be spinning the oldies for dancing. For questions, call Tom at (949)248.9008.
Tom Blake is a Dana Point business owner and San Clemente resident who has authored books on middle-aged dating. See his website at www.findingloveafter50.com.
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