By Tom Blake
I’ve heard it so often for years it’s almost comical: “I look younger than my age.”
You’d think looking younger would be an asset in dating after age 50. But some people who say they look younger than their age claim it’s a problem.
Annette from Orange County, wrote, “I have been single for five years. I had one relationship which I regret ending and have found it very difficult to meet anyone I am interested in who is interested in me.
“I am financially successful, have a great career, have raised five amazing children… the difficult thing is I am 59 but look 10 years younger (always have) so I am interested in younger men. This makes
internet dating very difficult.”
It’s not just women who have this “look-younger” problem.
Jim wrote, “I am 76 and in excellent health. Moved to the Orlando area 18 months ago to avoid St. Louis winters and to work on my golf game. All is going well.
“My issue is I am not attracted to women much over 60. I easily pass for 10 years younger.
“So what I do on Plenty of Fish, SeniorPeopleMeet/OurTime, OKCupid dating sites is list my age as 66, along with information and pictures. Then, when I meet a mutually attractive woman, I tell her my true age before we become intimate. Sometimes it leads to her seeing me as a liar and ending the relationship.
“My experience is women are interested in dating within a biological age and if you are not loaded, you can’t get around that. I am not loaded, just financially sound. Listing my age as 76 almost guarantees no interest.”
Looking younger than one’s age must be a very difficult problem to have. In Annette’s case, she says it’s the reason she’s always been interested in younger men. And yet, younger men aren’t interested in her. She has two choices: Make herself look older, or change her search strategy, and be open to dating men closer to her age, or heaven forbid, men even older. Think how those older men would feel when finding a young-looking woman who is financially sound. She’d be a prize to them and no longer alone. Annette’s problem solved.
In Jim’s case, listing his age as 10-years-younger is getting him dates, but little else. Being dishonest about his age doesn’t pay in the end. It wastes the time of the women he meets. I think he should do what Annette should do. Be more open to dating women closer to his age.
Advice for singles who think looking 10-years-younger than their age is a problem: make it less of a problem. Forget the wrinkles. Seek a mate closer to your age who has important qualities that truly matter: kindness, consideration, caring, loving, inner beauty, thoughtfulness, a good listener, interesting, and above all, who loves and appreciates you. There’s no need to lie.
Older singles should appreciate life and what they have. Those blessed with younger-than-their-age genes should be grateful, gracious and honest. That’s what will attract a mate.
Tom Blake is a Dana Point business owner and San Clemente resident who has authored books on middle-aged dating. See his website at www.findingloveafter50.com.